


all these words i'll spill for you

by Huxian



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, I apologize in advance, M/M, Praise Kink, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, University, excessive amounts of endearments, kinda???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 14:34:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20707604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huxian/pseuds/Huxian
Summary: It was just a small thing, nothing to write home about.“Thank you, babe,” Akira murmured, hands brushing as he handed cups for Ryuji to dry.Ryuji gave him a surprised side-eye, accepting the cups gingerly as Sojiro’s laughter rang softly throughout the store with his regulars.Akira saying an endearment? In public? That was… new.---A.k.a. Ryuji is both horny and confused at Akira's new plot to ruin him (in sexy ways, very sexy ways).





	all these words i'll spill for you

**Author's Note:**

> 500 words, I said, 500. Now look at me, 4000 words later. Smh. Also, I apologize, this is less sexy than I thought. It is mostly teeth-rotting sweetness. I have gagged approximately 18 times writing this, because pining and devotion are my apparent biggest kinks. Who knew. I can't believe i made an ao3 just to write this smh exposing my wiles with no shame like that smh

It was just a small thing, nothing to write home about.

“Thank you, babe,” Akira murmured, hands brushing as he handed cups for Ryuji to dry. 

Ryuji gave him a surprised side-eye, accepting the cups gingerly as Sojiro’s laughter rang softly throughout the store with his regulars. 

Akira saying an endearment? In _ public _? That was… new. Ryuji gave a quick glance in the shop to note that yep, it was pretty busy (in LeBlanc’s definition of ‘busy, that is). He was a little puzzled at Akira’s admission. Not that there was anything wrong with it! It was just… Akira was pretty private. Nobody except their friend and parental groups knew the two were dating, let alone dating to the point that they were on sweet talk terms. Ann and Shiho had that base covered, the two’s mushy-gushy gushing so sweet, it made Ryuji feel like he was developing cavities. 

Not that there was anything wrong with sweetness. Hearing it from Akira was just surprising, even though it felt… really nice. Like, really, really _ nice _ . Akira was more the type of ‘actions speak louder than words’, something Ryuji appreciated and had fallen for him for. But endearments weren’t really _ their _ thing. Physical affection was one thing, but verbally expressed stuff? Had them both turning red and embarrassed and floundering. 

Akira wasn’t red now though, he just continued to finish washing up the shop’s dishes.

Ryuji could feel himself color though, despite his willing for it to stop. Maybe Akira didn’t even _ realize _ he said it-- and that’s fine! It just meant that he must feel so comfortable around Ryuji _ in public _ to say it out of the blue without making it a huge thing. And the thought made Ryuji just feel warm and blushy, the same way he felt when Akira had held his hand for the first time, intent and soft and honest.

What’s the point of overthinking this or making a big deal out of, realistically, a whole bunch of nothing? Even if Akira just said it without even realizing it, Ryuji would take what he could get (though, his chest clenching begged to differ-- this was _ not _ a whole bunch of nothing, not to him it isn’t).

Ryuji grinned, and gently hip checked Akira. “No problem, _ amigo_,” he said, practicing the Spanish word Ann had told him a few weeks back, just to see Akira’s answering smile.

This was fine.

\--------

This was not fine.

Ryuji wanted to scream, so he did by mashing his face into the pillow. After that episode passed, he raised his head, face red, eyes a little teary in frustration.

Frustration at what, Akira? Yeah, but not in the way people would think.

Things have just been _ escalating _. 

What Ryuji took as a momentary blip was now becoming momentary _ moments _ , plural, and longer than a minor _ blip _. 

It started small with Akira cuddling Ryuji at night (which was normal) and murmuring a sweet, “good night, baby,” (which was NOT normal) resulting in Ryuji flaming up and staring into the darkness for a good 5 minutes while Akira snored behind him. 

Then it went to, “miss you, honey,” Akira said, kissing him on the cheek when they both came home late from their respective jobs and college classes. 

“Looking good there, pretty boy,” Akira had smiled when Ryuji walked out in a suit, both getting ready for a showing of Yusuke’s new art piece. Ryuji had blushed so hard, he had to backtrack back into the restroom saying his collar felt itchy. 

“Put this on, doll,” Akira said, along with handing him his jacket when Ryuji had forgotten his in the cold movie theater.

“You’re so good to me, sugar,” Akira nuzzled into his hair, _ in front of the rest of the Phantom Thieves _ after Ryuji had ran to do the errand his boyfriend had forgotten about.

“Trying to prove me wrong, hot stuff?” Akira teased, after Ryuji had made a bet on who remembered which of their friends’ birthday bash had involved the clown, a goat, a ladder, and Morgana to do damage control (Akira was certain that it had been Yusuke’s 19th birthday party, but hell no, Ryuji was adamant that if it HAD been Yusuke’s, it would involve lobsters, not an effing goat-- no, the birthday was Haru’s brand of tomfoolery through and through). 

But the damning momentary moment was probably last night, when they had finally got down and dirty after months of being too busy, and Akira had asked, tone low, “_ that feel good, sweetheart?” _ And Ryuji had come so fast and hard, he blacked out for a solid two minutes, coming to when Akira splattered his stomach, both their releases mixing together in a mess.

Just remembering last night had Ryuji heating up again, but he smashed his head back into the pillow to screech before getting up to pace a hole through the floor.

Was Akira doing this to cause him to go _ crazy _ ? Because Ryuji was quickly beginning to lose his effing _ mind _. 

Because he _ loved _ the endearments. He loved the soft, casual way Akira said it-- as if Ryuji _ mattered _ , as if Ryuji was really, really _ loved _ . And it’s not like he doubted Akira’s feelings but-- this was _ different _. This was honesty in a different way, as if Akira was proving it to the world, and not just Ryuji alone. Not that Ryuji needed him to prove anything-- Akira has been and will always be enough.

It just felt different. Akira had always been so quiet (especially after the interrogation, and more so after the incarceration), though, he had plenty to say when it came down to it, and in a bastard way about it, too. This was new, though, and Ryuji wasn’t sure what brought it on. 

It would be different if Akira was just joking. Teasing. Just playing with the words. Ryuji could understand jokes, could play along, could ramp up the ridiculousness of it. And they’d laugh, and it would be normal. It would be safe. 

But this casualness wasn’t a joke, it didn’t feel like it. It felt real, serious in a way that took Ryuji’s breath from him. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel safe, it just felt like… home. 

Also, it was just way too inconvenient to be busting an effing nut when your boyfriend said _ ONE _ endearment, jesus christ, way too telling. 

“Dammit, what do I do,” Ryuji agonized, hands pulling on his hair. “Do I call him out and talk about it? Do I ignore it?” If he ignored it, no one ever needed to _ know _ what Ryuji was struggling over-- it wouldn’t be made into a big deal. But… if he ignored it, then he’s going to die an early death at this rate, his heart can only handle so much sweetness before it combusted.

“Alright,” he decided, squaring up to gaze determinedly out the window, “I’ll effing talk, I’ll do it.”

“Do what?” A voice came from behind him, and Ryuji shrieked, spinning around like a madman.

Akira smiled back from the doorway, cheeks still red from the cool air outside, brow quirked in confusion at Ryuji’s reaction. 

“What are you doing here?” Ryuji squawked, and Akira frowned.

“I live here…?”

“No, no,” Ryuji shook his head, trying to gain traction. “I mean, what are you doing here back so early? It’s barely 5 PM!”

“Classes ended earlier than expected, so I went to help out Sojiro a bit before he sent me away,” Akira answered, setting down his book bag to shrug off his jacket. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

“Uh, no,” Ryuji fumbled, “Sorry for the questions, I was just surprised is all.” With that, he slid over and helped Akira out of his jacket, smiling brightly as he said, “Welcome back, Akira.”

Akira smiled warmly back, and waited til Ryuji hung the jacket elsewhere before reaching to embrace him. “Missed this,” Ryuji could hear Akira say into his neck, and even though he had been conflicted over dumb stuff before, his chest clenched at the sweet admission. Ryuji hugged back just as tightly, thanking the universe for giving him such great luck in getting to have Akira, have _ this _, together. 

“So,” Akira finally said, pulling back to look at Ryuji, “was there something going on, or was I imagining you talking to yourself like a dork?”

Ryuji huffed, cheeks ballooning at Akira’s teasing. “Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you about some… stuff.” 

Akira smiled demurely back, knowing that Ryuji tended to stall for time, as if it would prolong the inevitable conversation. “Talk about what, sweetheart?” He asked easily, and Ryuji jumped, expression in comical outrage. 

“That!” Ryuji accused, “I wanted to talk about _ that! _”

“...I don’t think I’m following, babe.”

“Are you for real? I’m talking about wanting to talk about your new vocabulary!” Ryuji waved his hands, as if it would make his point. “The-- the sweetheart, the babe, all of that!”

Akira frowned, but his cheeks also colored, as if realizing his own actions now after having it pointed out. “Is that… a problem…?” He asked slowly, and Ryuji deflated.

“No, it’s not a problem, not exactly,” Ryuji said, scratching his head. 

“But you’re upset,” Akira pressed, and Ryuji shook his head adamantly.

“No, I’m not upset, I promise. It’s just… just…”

“Just…?”

“Feels different,” Ryuji finally whispered, hot embarrassment racing through his blood. Why was he making a big deal out of something small? “It’s just, this is my first time experiencing this, and it-- It seems outta nowhere? Not that I’m complaining, but my heart can only take so much, Akira, c’mon.”

“Your heart can only take so much…?” Akira intoned slowly, and Ryuji just nodded back, miserable at being put on the spot.

“Yeah,” he said. “I like it when you say that sweet stuff. It feels nice. And it’s embarrassing because you probably don’t even know how much of an effect it has on me! When you say those things… it feels like… I don’t know, different. On top of the world.” He took a deep breath. “I feel like you really love me, when you say those things. Not that I ever doubted you before, but… it’s different.”

Akira stared back at him silently, expression unreadable. Ryuji was beginning to wish the floor would open up to swallow him, when Akira finally said, “Now you know how I feel.”

Ryuji froze.

“Excuse me?”

Akira only gave an answering smile, dark and intent, and without meaning to, Ryuji began to back up, his boyfriend advancing forward, predatory. He didn’t realize how close the bed was until his knees hit the edge, and he fell back, cursing. Akira immediately crawled on top of him, settling comfortably between his legs, and leaning down to brush his nose against his neck. To say Ryuji was confused was an understatement, alright, but he decided to wait Akira out to explain himself, because what the eff could Ryuji say now?

“Remember when we were 16?” Ryuji paused at the non-sequitur.

“You may need to be more specific, man, because we did a shit ton of things when we were 16.”

Akira laughed quietly, burrowing deeper into Ryuji’s side, which felt nice, but damn, he was so confused. 

“When we use to train all the time together, and you were still conflicted about the track team.”

Shit, that time? It felt like a lifetime ago. The him at 16 was so different to the him of now, 22. But why was Akira bringing this up…?

“Remember when your former trackmates was angry at that one guy, Naka--”

“Nakaoka? Yeah.” Ryuji frowned. “But what’s he gotta do with--”

A hand gently pressed against his lips, and Akira shook his head, his curls tickling Ryuji’s chin.

“Let me finish,” Akira said, soft. “They were angry and tried to pick a fight with him, and we-- you-- stepped in to defend him. Do you remember what you said to me, after all that?”

Ryuji quirked an eyebrow, mindful of Akira’s hand still on his mouth, and Akira laughed a little at that.

“‘_Being free _ ,” Akira said, and the words were familiar in a long nostalgic way, “ _ it’s like how I feel when I’m talking to you.’” _

Ryuji could only stare back, unable to say anything because this felt important-- it was important for Akira to mention after all, and Akira never said things for the shits and giggles.

Akira continued on, stroking Ryuji’s jaw now, almost trance-like as he remembered their fleeting youth. “A bit after that, we went to that monjayaki restaurant, just like we always do… but that time, it was different. You were telling me how you were glad you found your place, and then…” At that, Akira colored, but he continued on, determined. “You said, ‘_ Don’t worry. There’s a place here for you, too… Right next to me.’” _ He shook his head, sounding fond. “Who even _ says _ that?”

“Well apparently, I said that,” Ryuji huffed. “What’s that gotta do with half the shit you’ve been saying now?”

Akira stared back, appalled, and after checking Ryuji’s expression, realized that he was being serious.

“How are you not connecting the dots to what I’m saying now to what you were saying back then.”

“Look, man,” Ryuji was beginning to get testy, because what the shit is going on? “You know my reading comprehension skills were never the best in school. Just spit it out!”

“It was your honesty!” Akira cried, throwing his hands up in the air. “That’s what I’m getting at!”

At Ryuji’s continued confusion, Akira sighed, and settled back down.

“Your honesty shocked me,” he said. “Who is that honest to anyone? And this is before we even started to date. Hell, even my parents have never said anything that honest, Ryuji.”

“What are you talking about-- we didn’t even date til our second year, dumbass, when we were 20 and finally got our heads out of our asses? And what do you mean, honest? I said what I mean, and mean what I said. I wouldn’t lie.”

“So why is it weird when I call you things like, sweetheart, or babe?” Akira challenged, and Ryuji blushed.

“That’s different!”

“No, it’s really not.” Akira smiled, and it was… whatever was shown on his face was making Ryuji’s throat close up, cavities were going to form _ goddamn _ . “Ryuji, you think your words don’t mean anything, but to 16 year old me, it was _ everything _. I was some kid with a criminal record, and you looked at me like I was someone worth your time.”

“Hey, you’ve always been worth my time, what are you saying--” Ryuji tried to protest, but Akira shushed him.

“I know that now,” Akira said. “But you have to understand that out of everyone, yes, even in the Phantom Thieves, you were the one to see me for _ me _. You never doubted me. You… your words made me feel like I was on top of the world. It still does. And this was before we even dated, or even had feelings for each other! 16 year old me was an idiot, and it took 4 years to even finally confess, to show you that you were the only boy for me, even as a dumb teenager.”

Gobsmacked, Ryuji could only feel the tender way Akira held his face, thumb going in circles on his jawline. 

“You and our friends knew how hard it was for me to talk,” Akira said, voice becoming somber, and Ryuji struggled to listen, to take in. “It was… difficult to say what I meant to say. To be honest. Ryuji, I knew what you meant back then, about feeling free. I wanted to say the exact same thing, but. I couldn’t. I was too scared.” 

The shame crossing Akira’s face was terrible and lonely, and with a noise, Ryuji reached out, to grab Akira close, to hold, to kiss, to cherish, to comfort. Because he’s beginning to understand what Akira was saying now, thinking about how a criminal record along with everyone automatically assuming things about him could silence a fucking _ kid _ into never really talking about the real things, because who would listen? Who would listen and give him that respect? It was a miracle that Akira could even open up now, could even say things like “I miss you” when they were apart, that raw honesty so vulnerable in his eyes.

“I’m here,” was all Ryuji could say, and he could feel Akira’s smile on his skin, one of his favorite things in the world.

“You’ve always been here,” Akira corrected, before pulling back to lean his head against Ryuji’s. He closed his eyes. “I don’t think I can ever say anything as meaningful as what you’ve said to me. But god, I’m willing to try. I want to make up for lost time. I want to make you feel the way I did: helpless, but powerful at the same time. Pet names are a little low on that scale, but I’m working up to it.”

“I’m afraid to what can be more dangerous than pet names,” Ryuji said, feeling warm again as he glanced askance, avoidant. “You’re already stealing my heart over and over with those dumb names. And shithead! You’ve always said meaningful stuff, don’t sell yourself short!" 

Akira grinned, sly. “Dumb names? Don’t think I didn’t notice you coming the moment I said--”

“Oh, screw you,” Ryuji burst out laughing, and Akira joined in, and it was fine, it was good. “I just, really liked it, okay? You gonna make this a big deal?”

Akira paused to muse for a second. “The only big deal is in my pants--” Ryuji shoved him back and Akira went with the motion, cackling.

“But seriously,” Akira finally said, tears of mirth in his eyes, and his expression was so soft and happy, Ryuji wanted to keep it on his face for-effing-ever. “I like making you happy..._ sweetheart.” _

And the mood changed from 0 to 100.

“F-fuck you,” Ryuji choked out, feeling his pants tighten embarrassingly, and Akira gave a low laugh in response. 

“Oh, I think it’s more like fuck _ you _, babe.”

The noise that erupted from his throat was humiliating as hell, but god, the kiss was _ worth it _. Akira’s hand curled around the side of his head, pulling lightly at his hair while his other hand tried to rip apart Ryuji’s shirt. Ryuji was not in a better state, trying to pull off Akira’s sweater while simultaneously kicking off his shorts.

“Lube,” Ryuji managed to gasp out, and Akira made an impatient noise before breaking away to grab the bottle and condoms. In the meantime, Ryuji flung his clothes away, and turned to do the same to Akira. Within minutes, they were reduced to just their socks, and noticing that fact, the two began to giggle at the absurdity of their _ life _.

“Shut up and get to work,” Ryuji tried to put his game face back on. “Stop laughing at my socks, as if these ain’t the hottest socks you’ve ever seen.” He emphasized his point by wiggling his shiba inu decorated toes.

“That’s debatable,” Akira replied, grinning as pushed Ryuji on his back. “Socks don’t really do it for me. But _ this _\--” he emphasized by leaning down to nip at Ryuji’s stomach, the latter squeaking at the suddenness-- “now this I can work with.”

“You’re embarrassing, holy shit,” Ryuji groaned, covering his eyes to hide the red overtaking his face.

“Now you know how I felt at 16 when you said all that honest stuff,” Akira began kissing his way down, stopping to bite into the softness of Ryuji’s hip. “I want my teenage years back, you jerk.” 

“Wha-- you said it made you feel powerful when I said those things!” Ryuji said in mock outrage, then he yelped as Akira suddenly twisted a lube-covered finger in. The pain was miniscule, he was still loose from last night, jesus christ--

“Yeah, powerful, but also really, really embarrassing,” Akira said, twisting another finger in, stroking and spreading slick around, eyes intently on taking in the sight before him. “16 year old me couldn’t handle that honesty, so he avoided being honest with you for another 4 years.” He shifted, leaning to lick at the prominent scar on Ryuji’s thigh, and Ryuji shuddered, mouth opening in a wordless cry because no matter how long it had been, that surgery scar from the aftermath of Kamoshida was just so _ damn sensitive _.

“Akira--” Ryuji cried out, hand reaching out to try to push his boyfriend away, but Akira ignored his attempts, holding on even tighter as he licked and kissed, hand still working on loosening up Ryuji’s hole.

“I dreamt about it though,” Akira said in between kisses, and he scraped his teeth lightly over the scar, reveling in Ryuji’s struggles. “I dreamt about your words, baby, and I _ never _ forgot--” he shoved another lubed up finger in, and Ryuji nearly flung himself off the bed, stimulated to hell and back-- “I never forgot, I can never forget. Sweetheart, you’re everything, I’m so glad you’re mine, you’re mine, right?”

“Eff-- _ yes _ !” Ryuji slapped a hand over his mouth, muffling the noises as Akira worked him like the damn _ fiddle _, clever fingers breaking him apart and remaking him like the Big Bang of the universe.

Ryuji Sakamoto was _ not _ going to survive this.

“Honey, I love you like this, love how you sound, how you move and try to avoid it because it feels so _ good _ ,” Akira punctuated by shoving in his fingers-- three now, fuck-- deep, and biting a mark to the side of the scar, “There’s nothing I don’t love about you, Ryuji. Your smile, your laugh, the way the light hits your eyes, your bravery, kindness-- there’s nothing of you that I don’t _ want _, babe.”

“Akira, get in me right _ now _ or I’m going to come,” Ryuji snarled out, and Akira shivered at the tone, eyes dark. He pulled away and ripped open a condom, sliding it on while wiping the excess lube on. Akira pressed close, his cock nudging against Ryuji’s hole, and Ryuji nearly screamed when Akira kept avoid sliding in-- what a fucking tease!

“Any last words?” Akira said, tone saccharine, and Ryuji had to roll his eyes at the act because his boyfriend was a fucking teasing bastard.

“Sure,” Ryuji said, before a smirk twisted his lips. Leaning in, he pulled Akira down, whispering in his ear, “Fuck me like you mean it, _ sweetheart _.”

The noise that came out of Akira’s throat sounded punched, shocked, and any last vestiges of control disappeared when he slid home, shoving and making space in Ryuji and all Ryuji could do was take it, just take it and hold on--

“Oh, fuck, Akira--” Ryuji cried out, trying to muffle his sounds with a stray hand, but Akira reached out and pinned it down, panting, “No, babe, no, _ I want to hear you. _”

“Baby,” Ryuji said, sanged it as Akira fucked his way in, hitting that _ spot _ every third thrust, driving Ryuji crazy. “Baby, please, Akira, _ c’mon _\--”

Akira bit his jawline in response, soothing it with licks as Ryuji continued to make noise. Shifting, he pinned Ryuji’s legs further, the angle giving him the chance to go deeper, making them both moan at the feeling.

Ryuji nearly screamed when Akira wrapped a hand around his leaking cock, and tried to push the other man away. “Wait, no-- baby, no, I don’t wanna come yet--”

“Sorry, sweetheart, I don’t think I can last much longer,” Akira said, teeth digging into his bottom lip. He opened his eyes, and the hazed pleasure shone through made Ryuji tightened in response, because damn, Akira was looking at him like he was helpless to all that was Ryuji. 

“Together, then,” Ryuji agreed, breathless, and Akira gave one last grin before he twisted the head of Ryuji’s cock and fucked in _ hard _, the two shuddering.

Coming down, Ryuji let his legs fall and he slumped, Akira pulling out and collapsing next to him. Akira made grabby hands, and Ryuji rolled his eyes at the gesture but indulged, shifting to cuddle despite the gross stickiness beginning to settle in.

“So that’s your plan then,” Ryuji finally said out loud, and Akira hummed to show he was listening, cat-like. “Your plan is to kill me with all these effing pet names,” Ryuji affirmed, and Akira snickered, nodding, eyes still closed.

“Well,” Ryuji decided, “At least it’ll work on you, too… babe.”

Color flooded Akira’s face, and he opened his eyes, pouting. “You are a menace,” he told Ryuji, and Ryuji could only laugh because his words sure wasn’t telling the truth, not like the hardening length next to Ryuji’s thigh was.

Yeah, this was definitely fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews are deeply appreciated! I definitely want to write more for this ship, since it's so underrated despite the absolute goldmine it holds! Let me know if I need to tag something else accordingly!
> 
> follow me at huxianposts.tumblr.com for my bullshit, but also if you have any writing requests :v
> 
> thank you for coming to my TED talk <3


End file.
